Trust

Ever since my EEG, I have had a lot on my mind: the other two testing’s, and the final conference to evaluate me for surgery. What I've learned is that I've allowed everything that I am facing right now to consume me. Instead, I need to learn to trust in God; He has a plan for me. 

So far, everything this summer has fallen into place: the testing’s, appointments, work, and a bit of traveling. I think that when it's God's plan, everything is timed perfectly, whether it's the timing I wanted or not. We can sit and plan all we want, but when it comes down to it, it's all in His time. 

I can try to face this alone and pray for what I want to happen, or trust God. Letting go is hard to do, but whatever treatment they decide is for the best. I'm not going to lie, I am nervous for the outcome!  Please keep me in your prayers! 

Two Year Anniversary

Exactly two years ago today, I had my first seizure. If you told me before that day that I would be diagnosed with Epilepsy, I would have thought you were crazy. It’s been rough dealing with the different medications and their side effects, but I’ve had to adapt.

I have been asked if things have gotten worse in these two years, and my initial answer was no. For me, I have adapted to the situation, and it’s my life. I take medications daily, attend college full time, and deal with seizures whenever they may happen. When you are looking at it from the outside, it has gotten worse. The side effects, the MRI’s, and trying to manage something where the best thing you can hope for is controlling your seizures.

My attitude has changed completely. At first, I was upset that I wasn’t going to be able to work or go to France this summer, but I know now that this is what was supposed to happen. Everything has fallen into place; I went from being terrified of brain surgery, to wanting brain surgery. Is it scary? Yes, but I want the possibility of not having another seizure, or just being able to go weeks without having one. I’ve grown up a lot since my diagnosis, and I’m happy with where I am. This is God’s plan for me.

Homeward Bound!

I was able to sleep through the night last night, but I woke up at 6:00 AM, which is earlier than I would have liked! About a half hour later, I had my first seizure of the day.

My Doctor just came in and confirmed with me that the seizures have been coming from the silver dollar-sized malformation in the right temporal lobe of the brain. I am so happy that they were able to pinpoint where exactly the seizures are coming from, as well as confirming my Doctor’s original thought. We are going to continue with the testing to see how we will treat it.

I am being released from the hospital tonight, and can’t wait to sleep in my own bed!  

EEG: Day 1

I arrived at the hospital early this morning to check in for my EEG; they told me I had the penthouse suite with a view of the mountains, and let’s just say, I couldn’t argue with that! After filling out paper work, I was taken up to my room where they did a quick assessment before attaching the electrodes to my scalp.

I sat down in a chair, and the EEG Technicians started measuring my head so that they could properly mark the places on my scalp where the electrodes were to be placed. 45 minutes, and twenty-something wires later, I was all ready to go. All of the wires that were attached to my scalp were then plugged into this little piece of equipment that goes into what I call, “my purse”. Two cameras constantly monitor me, and whenever I have a seizure, I press this red button that turns the light on and alerts the staff that I have had a seizure.

Five hours later, after cutting my medication in half and trying to stay awake, I finally had a seizure! It was like one of my usual Simple Partial seizures, but a little more intense. The staff rushed in and did the usual protocol: they come in and ask simple questions such as, “Where are you?” and “What year is it?” to gage my awareness. The seizure passed, and it was crazy to think that for the first time in two years, having a seizure was a good thing! I had another seizure about 3 hours after the first seizure of the day.

Recorded Seizure Total Today: 2

I’ve had to acclimate to hospital life:  lying in bed all day, eating three meals a day on a schedule, people coming in and out of the room to check up on me…or that they just walked into the wrong room (it happened more than once)! How I managed to get a 30-minute nap in during all of this, I’ll never know!

This sounds relaxing, but I’ve been stir crazy! I passed the day with James Bond, nail care, TV seasons, and hanging out with my mom; my dad visited later. I had a few moments of frustration today, but I had to realize that this is going to help find where my seizures are coming from.

Love and Support

These past few days, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. I have talked with friends and family about it, and they reassured me that I am going to be okay, and that God doesn’t give us anything that we can’t handle. The Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 has given me comfort and perspective as I go through this.

“For I know the plans I have for you ,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

I have had an outpour of support from family and friends. Last night, my sister threw me a surprise French themed party; it really showed me how much she loves me, and the support I have from family and friends. Today, I received the most amazing voicemail from my Grandma that made me teary and emotional. She said everything that I needed to hear. It is amazing how God puts incredible people in your life; she’s been there for me through thick and thin. I love my Granny! 

Wednesday morning, I will be admitted to the hospital for three days for a Video EEG test (one of the three big testing’s that I will undergo to evaluate me before surgery). An EEG test is where they record the electrical activity in the brain by placing multiple electrodes along the scalp. EEG’s are also used for other purposes besides epilepsy, but in my case, the purpose of this test is to locate which Angioma's my seizures are coming from. The Epileptologist is thinking that my seizures are coming from the silver dollar-sized Angioma on the right side of my brain.

Three days in a bed seems nice and relaxing, but you get bored real fast! Here is what I have packed to entertain myself:

-Magazines

-Movies

-TV Seasons (Glee, Modern Family, New Girl…the essentials! ;))

-Books

-Nail Care (If you know me, I have pristine nail care!)

-Videogames

-Family and Friends Visiting

Let’s hope this list keeps me entertained!